A love letter to myself - part I
For the last 90 days, I have made it a priority to put myself first. I signed up for a workshop to get clear on my dreams. I joined a challenge to help create new habits that focus on self care. I reinstated daily mediation and yoga practices. And I began intentional journaling to get honest with myself and let go of anything that was getting in my way!
What did I discover?
Fear was at the root of what was holding me back in a lot of ways.
And the only person who could help me smash those fears, is me.
Since our fears are driven and exaggerated by our mindset, often our head is filled with self-doubt and limiting beliefs.
How do you overcome fear? Through love!
the opposite of fear is love!
Ultimately, if you can love yourself completely, it is a lot easier to face fear head on and accept things like uncertainty, power, insecurity, and more!
Therefore, I decided to write a love letter to myself with a few lessons learned in my life so far (part I) which became clearer over the last 90 days.
My hope is that this letter serves as motivation for you to write your own love letter that is inspired by your beautiful life lessons. And if you do, I hope you will share it with me!
In moments of darkness, I encourage you to rise above and remember the importance of LOVE. Not just the love you can offer others, but love for yourself. Love that pushes fear away and makes dreams come true!
It may be tempting to make excuses, resist change, blame others, complain, criticize or even give up, but that is not who you are Laura.
When it doubt, draw upon these lessons learned for inspiration to overcome the darkness! You will then remember that you have the power to do everything your heart desires no matter what the universe sends you!
enjoy all the tastes of life
I looked at the sea and saw the heavy waves thrashing below me, shaking the dock my feet were standing upon. My heart was pounding and my body began to shiver. As I put on my mask, I could taste the salt water on my mouth piece. This was a taste I was familiar with and even enjoyed. But today I had a different experience with it. I felt sick to my stomach. What if there were sharks down there? What if my mask came off and I took in too much water? What if my oxygen tank doesn't work? I took the plunge anyways! And not just once, but time and time again. Until I could enjoy the taste of salt water again.
Most people, after one bad memory of a certain taste, will continue to avoid the taste ever again. In fact, even if it is bad for their health, most people will continue eating the things that they enjoy.
Get comfortable with tasting things that make you uncomfortable
But our tastes can be strengthened and trained just like going to the gym to strengthen our muscles. It won't happen over night. You will need to keep going back, pushing yourself, sweating it out and even getting a few sore muscles and bruises. But eventually you will see results and discover that it doesn't taste so bad after all.
look for the signs
After we discovered we were in multiple classes together that semester, we decided to be friends again after a few months of not talking. It felt right to have her back in my life. Then there was that snowy dreadful night when tragedy struck! I could not believe that I had just hugged her hours before. Now she was gone at 21. How could this happen? Why her?
Look for the signs - they will tell you what to hold onto and what to let go of.
Cherish your relationships and say I love you often. Find compassion and empathy even in the most difficult moments. Learn to let go of small stuff. Forgive and forget! Your ego will thank you later.
"When it is all finished, you will discover it was never random!" - Unknown
learn to smell fear
My boss called for a meeting. She started talking and her words became confusing. She said something like there were budget cuts and that they had to let me go. My head was fuzzy and I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't understand how this could happen to me? Weeks before I got an outstanding performance review. Where did things go wrong? What was I going to do? How would I pay for rent or for my Master's? Then the smell of opportunity discovered me and I was offered the position. It was like it was meant to be.
When it seems you are being rejected from one thing you are actually being re-directed to something better! So when something happens in your life that makes you scared, acknowledge and welcome it. Take in the smell, even if it is pungent. But do not let it overwhelm you! Respect your fears, learn to work with not against them.
“Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” - George Addair
trust your intuition
I remember my first prenatal visit and hearing from my Doctor "we will be monitoring you especially close during your pregnancy since you are over 35 and considered 'at risk'!" I felt like someone had slapped me in the face. Was I too old? Had I waited too long? What if something would happen to the baby because of my desire to put my career first?
trust that the universe has your back
Have faith that the universe is providing you what you need at the right time.
"Trust your instincts. Your intuition doesn't lie." - Oprah Winfrey
feel from your heart
I said yes with an open heart but my stomach felt something different. I let my head overrule until a few months later when I realized I had fallen in love with another man. It was difficult, but I had to break off the engagement.
the hardest things are often the right things to do
Walking away from something and letting go is never easy. However, the longer you ignore your heart, the further away you are from true happiness. Follow your heart, listen to your gut and trust yourself.
"Only do what your heart tells you." - Princess Diana
speak with a positive voice
I heard the words louder and louder everyday. "You can't do this." "You don't have the right experience." "They will never give you a chance." "You will make a fool of yourself." The words were so loud that it hurt my head, my heart and my soul. In fact, it even began to leave a bad taste in my mouth. "Enough!" I screamed back! "I don't care what anyone thinks!" I decided to put all my energy into "hope." I started believing in myself and considering all the amazing things that could happen in the future if I just take the first step. It wasn't easy and I have fallen many times. But I keep standing and walking forward, knowing that I will reach my destiny no matter what comes my way.
Be your own mentor. Create the right tone of voice in your head so you sound like someone you would want to listen to and take advice from.
Allow "hope" to rule your mind. Focus on what could happen versus what won't happen.
Wake up everyday setting the right intentions with positive affirmations and you will surely find yourself in the life you are meant to be in.
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller
Laura as you know, life is not always easy. But own your journey and respect others. You are magical and have the ability to spread love everywhere you go!
Your bad ass self